She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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