How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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