I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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