We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
