There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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