Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
