..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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