My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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