You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
