Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
