look no pants
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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