He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
