and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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