I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
