i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
