I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize