Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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