I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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