What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
