he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
