I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
