I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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