The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
