Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize