Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
only if we run a train.
done.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
