omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
