Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
