I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
3pm strippers are depressing
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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