dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
