Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Of course I have a pirate flag
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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