Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
