Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems

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(307): View more from Wyoming

mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)

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(219): View more from Indiana

The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.

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(407): View more from Florida

Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?

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