How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
