Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
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Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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