singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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