Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
