One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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