Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
