Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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