Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
