we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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