How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
