I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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