i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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