Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
