I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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