hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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