I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize