We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
