i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
