You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
