My nipple is on Facebook.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
