there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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