so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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