Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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