i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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