pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
