At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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