Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
