i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
