i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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