i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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