why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We have so much sex to catch up on
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
