we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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