i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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