i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize